3 am!
11 degree below zero. I sleep with my eyes open (a marvel I mastered to help me survive dentistry lectures). I realize that I’ve been watching the E! Celebrity marathon for the last hour and a half. And after the break, the special candid feature about Paris Hilton! My face lights up like some Peshawar bound truck loaded with 3,000 mini bulbs with those God forsaken colors.
Shut up Vincezero! That’s my dog, named after an Italian mobster. Brags on and on like a Turk, even eats cannoli like his mother was a peasant in the Vatican. I said shut up you mutt, the grand event is here. And I make a little movie in my head. But no! The theme is “Paris buys a lollypop for 20 dollars from a local kid”, and drives away in her SUV. (rap video?)
It occurs to me then, why hasn’t some telemarketer called me to sell me the same brand of candy she’s got. “Douh”! (in the vocabulary of my greatest inspiration Homer Simpson) they got to me. My masculine fantasies have infected me to the deadly celebrity worship syndrome (CWS).
A third of people in the Untied Kingdom alone suffer from "celebrity worship syndrome," a fascination in the lives of the rich and famous that for some becomes a potentially dangerous addiction, according to New Scientist magazine.
People obsessed by this syndrome ask themselves questions like "I am obsessed by details of my favorite celebrity's life", "I consider my favorite celebrity to be my soul mate" and "If he/she asked me to do something illegal as a favor, I would probably do it." In addition, celebrity fans are significantly likelier to suffer from anxiety, depression and social dysfunction than non-worshippers.
And here’s the interesting part, the condition isn’t just physiological, it goes on to become pathological. The devotee develops an "intense-personal" attitude towards an idol, such as the belief that he or she had a special bond with the star.
At this point, celebrity worship is becoming an addiction. Those in this category are often neurotic, tense, emotional and moody. At its most intense, celebrity worship is "borderline-pathological," a condition found in 1 out of 4 Britons. These include celebrity stalkers and people who are willing to hurt themselves or others in the name of their idol. They correlate with symptoms of psychosis, such as impulsive, antisocial and egocentric behavior.
Just worshipping a celebrity does not make you dysfunctional, but it does put you at risk of being so. There is this progression of behaviors, and if you start, we don't know what's going to stop you.
People tend to get interested in celebrities at times when they are looking for direction in life, as in their teenage years. The situation isn’t much different in Pakistan either. View any moderately good-looking to a knock off local singer’s discussion forum. One can see 14-19 year olds proclaiming their love for the marasi... I’m sorry... singer!
Let’s see now…? Who to blame? And we have a winner! It’s the breaking up or non existence of family structure. Adolescents and teenagers have no one to look upon for reference, no one they can identify with and most importantly no mentors or role-models. So now they do the obvious, yes! Turn to the celebrity for guidance.
So if you find yourself rushing to ebid.com to buy Ben Affleck’s used napkin, or Brad Pitt’s Gucci underwear (no fight club fans, he really does wear Gucci) or Tony Blair’s office stationary (yes, being in the spotlight makes him worshipped), then you my friend need help!
The worst part is, a decade ago, you were famous if you were special. These days you’re special if you’re famous. Hence to say, celebrities have no criteria.
As for me. I’ll go back to watching TV with Vincezero in the sub-zero Quetta winters. Damn you ever image changing pop artists; you get to watch it with your girl. Well, at least he winks like Neha!
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Don't go there: 10 places not to find dates
Volumes have been written on the best places to pick up a member of the opposite gender, but nobody’s written word one on where not to meet a mate. Most regular daters are aware you can comfortably approach somebody at a friend’s party, or your favorite coffee shop, or the local grocery store, but what sort of places should you by no means think about romancing?
Here’re ten of ’em:
A skanky, nasty, gross bar
It’s all fine and good to ask a hottie for their phone number at a watering hole that has a nice jukebox, some top-shelf liquor, and relatively clean floors. But if the tavern looks and smells like a toxic waste dump, or if it has blood on the walls, or if the bartender is covered with festering sores, chances are the person you meet there has issues. Then again, if you’re hanging out there, chances are you have issues.
In the “Military History” section of a bookstore
Do you want to always associate your first meeting with the Crimean War? Not so much.
Anywhere within close proximity of a public restroom
And that means anywhere. Not inside of. Not outside of. Not in front of. Not in back of. This especially holds true if you run into a girl in the boy’s room, or vice versa.
In the waiting room of your shrink’s office
If you ignore this advice, and go out with the goth-looking chick or the eyeshadow-wearing guy who has the timeslot right after yours, and if after two months, it goes south, that means your doctor will be hearing about the failed “relationship” from both sides. Yuck.
Via an online website named something like “I’mGoingToStalkYou.com”
Don’t worry, this site doesn’t exist, but you get the point.
A funeral
Even if she looks amazing in her form-fitting black dress, or even if he is sexy as can be in his double-breasted black suit, don’t do it, if only because the specter of death will always hover over you.
Wrigley Field
The Chicago Cubs haven’t been in a World Series in approximately 3,000 years. A meeting at their venerable ballpark will be fraught with loser-ness.
A police station
Say your cousin got busted for getting into a fight at the aforementioned skanky, nasty, gross bar. Say he calls you to bail him out. Say the girl sharing his holding cell is drop-dead gorgeous, and you want to get her number. Don’t. There’s a high probability that this woman is a criminal, and criminals don’t necessarily make the best girlfriends.
Behind a dumpster in an alley
A dark, dirty, smelly place isn’t the best venue to lay the groundwork for a positive, healthy love affair. Besides, what’re they doing there? What’re you doing there? Wait, don’t answer that…
Work
As the saying goes, “Don’t (you know what) where you (you know what).” Sure, some wonderful relationships have been forged at the office, but the majority of workplace romances fizzle, collapsing under the weight of your co-worker’s gossiping, and too much exposure to one another.
Here’re ten of ’em:
A skanky, nasty, gross bar
It’s all fine and good to ask a hottie for their phone number at a watering hole that has a nice jukebox, some top-shelf liquor, and relatively clean floors. But if the tavern looks and smells like a toxic waste dump, or if it has blood on the walls, or if the bartender is covered with festering sores, chances are the person you meet there has issues. Then again, if you’re hanging out there, chances are you have issues.
In the “Military History” section of a bookstore
Do you want to always associate your first meeting with the Crimean War? Not so much.
Anywhere within close proximity of a public restroom
And that means anywhere. Not inside of. Not outside of. Not in front of. Not in back of. This especially holds true if you run into a girl in the boy’s room, or vice versa.
In the waiting room of your shrink’s office
If you ignore this advice, and go out with the goth-looking chick or the eyeshadow-wearing guy who has the timeslot right after yours, and if after two months, it goes south, that means your doctor will be hearing about the failed “relationship” from both sides. Yuck.
Via an online website named something like “I’mGoingToStalkYou.com”
Don’t worry, this site doesn’t exist, but you get the point.
A funeral
Even if she looks amazing in her form-fitting black dress, or even if he is sexy as can be in his double-breasted black suit, don’t do it, if only because the specter of death will always hover over you.
Wrigley Field
The Chicago Cubs haven’t been in a World Series in approximately 3,000 years. A meeting at their venerable ballpark will be fraught with loser-ness.
A police station
Say your cousin got busted for getting into a fight at the aforementioned skanky, nasty, gross bar. Say he calls you to bail him out. Say the girl sharing his holding cell is drop-dead gorgeous, and you want to get her number. Don’t. There’s a high probability that this woman is a criminal, and criminals don’t necessarily make the best girlfriends.
Behind a dumpster in an alley
A dark, dirty, smelly place isn’t the best venue to lay the groundwork for a positive, healthy love affair. Besides, what’re they doing there? What’re you doing there? Wait, don’t answer that…
Work
As the saying goes, “Don’t (you know what) where you (you know what).” Sure, some wonderful relationships have been forged at the office, but the majority of workplace romances fizzle, collapsing under the weight of your co-worker’s gossiping, and too much exposure to one another.
5 FIRST DATE NO-NOs
It's happened to all of us at one time or another. We get excited about that first date, but it ends up being a total disaster.
A week or so later (maybe longer), we get to a stage where we can have a good laugh about it. So what went wrong?
Aside from some of the more usual mishaps such as gross exaggeration on the part of the other person (they don't work for MI5 after all), it's possible that too much unappealing information was given away. We'll make sure that you're prepared. Study this list of five things never to reveal before the second date.
1. The Ex-Files
There's nothing worse than a date who talks incessantly about a past love. "He treated me so badly but I really loved him" or "She was so good to me and I stupidly let her go."
Whatever.
This one is a no-brainer: the first date is not the time to drone on about all of your past ill-fated love affairs.
2. Silence Is Golden
If you're looking for a new love, chances are you may choose to hedge your bets and date more than one person at the same time before making your final choice. Whatever you do, don't let the cat out of the bag. So okay, technically you're not in a relationship if you're on a first date but it's still akin to saying, "this is a competition and you’re way behind." Nobody can compete with strangers - nor should they have to.
3. "Have my baby"
A female taxi driver picks up a fare and immediately goes all 'Fatal Attraction' on him. He tells her not to rush things because they've only just met and he's not ready - sound familiar? It's a funny advert on TV at the moment ramming home the point about a brand of lager's lengthy brewing process. However, it applies here too. There's no point stressing a desire for an immediate commitment because your date will feel your desperation and run a mile.
4. Family Ties
Hate your parents or your siblings or cousins? Keep it to yourself. We all have conflicts with our families, and most of us understand that family issues inevitably rear their ugly heads in intimate relationships as well. However, don't vent about your nearest and not-so-dearest in front of a date. First impressions count and the entire rant will probably be interpreted by the person with you as a sign of things to come.
5. I Hate My Life
Long, drawn-out monologues dwelling on a stagnant career (for example) certainly won't inspire confidence in your ability to respond effectively to negative life situations. Don't give the person you're spending the evening with ammunition to shoot you down.
It's great to talk about political opinions and other serious issues when you're getting to know someone new; how else will you figure out what you have in common? You really don’t have to keep it too light on the first date but keep in mind that if you're doing most of the talking — and if what you're talking about is mostly negative, you're probably not going to have a second date.
A week or so later (maybe longer), we get to a stage where we can have a good laugh about it. So what went wrong?
Aside from some of the more usual mishaps such as gross exaggeration on the part of the other person (they don't work for MI5 after all), it's possible that too much unappealing information was given away. We'll make sure that you're prepared. Study this list of five things never to reveal before the second date.
1. The Ex-Files
There's nothing worse than a date who talks incessantly about a past love. "He treated me so badly but I really loved him" or "She was so good to me and I stupidly let her go."
Whatever.
This one is a no-brainer: the first date is not the time to drone on about all of your past ill-fated love affairs.
2. Silence Is Golden
If you're looking for a new love, chances are you may choose to hedge your bets and date more than one person at the same time before making your final choice. Whatever you do, don't let the cat out of the bag. So okay, technically you're not in a relationship if you're on a first date but it's still akin to saying, "this is a competition and you’re way behind." Nobody can compete with strangers - nor should they have to.
3. "Have my baby"
A female taxi driver picks up a fare and immediately goes all 'Fatal Attraction' on him. He tells her not to rush things because they've only just met and he's not ready - sound familiar? It's a funny advert on TV at the moment ramming home the point about a brand of lager's lengthy brewing process. However, it applies here too. There's no point stressing a desire for an immediate commitment because your date will feel your desperation and run a mile.
4. Family Ties
Hate your parents or your siblings or cousins? Keep it to yourself. We all have conflicts with our families, and most of us understand that family issues inevitably rear their ugly heads in intimate relationships as well. However, don't vent about your nearest and not-so-dearest in front of a date. First impressions count and the entire rant will probably be interpreted by the person with you as a sign of things to come.
5. I Hate My Life
Long, drawn-out monologues dwelling on a stagnant career (for example) certainly won't inspire confidence in your ability to respond effectively to negative life situations. Don't give the person you're spending the evening with ammunition to shoot you down.
It's great to talk about political opinions and other serious issues when you're getting to know someone new; how else will you figure out what you have in common? You really don’t have to keep it too light on the first date but keep in mind that if you're doing most of the talking — and if what you're talking about is mostly negative, you're probably not going to have a second date.
I am Blogging!!!!
I don't know why but I always loved to write but somehow I have never been able to write what I have been dreaming and thinking. I have never blogged around and hence have no idea how and what a BLOG is and how to use that but right now I have planned to delve myself into blog and write whatever I have in my mind.
Anyways I am happy that Finally I am Blogging....
Who Am I?
A lot of people would be curious who am I?
Do I really need to have an identity to show people and for people.
Do names matter, for me it is the person that matters and hence let's call me nameless.
I am essentially a young cum old man, old at mind and young at heart as most of the people say it.
Let's see whether I would be able to do justice with you my Nameless identity.
Anyways I am happy that Finally I am Blogging....
Who Am I?
A lot of people would be curious who am I?
Do I really need to have an identity to show people and for people.
Do names matter, for me it is the person that matters and hence let's call me nameless.
I am essentially a young cum old man, old at mind and young at heart as most of the people say it.
Let's see whether I would be able to do justice with you my Nameless identity.
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